Notes from the road to 50,000

The tale of a novel in progress:

As most of you know, in November I participated in NaNoWriMo.  For the uninitiated, that stands for National Novel Writing Month, where each November, thousands of people attempt to write a 50,000 word draft of an original novel in thirty days.  It’s hard and it isn’t.  It’s actually lots of fun.  Here are some thoughts of my experiences:

Why did I do this?  Because in my other novel in progress, I had gotten too bogged down in research and historical fact and away from story.  I wanted to try something new.  Something based completely on ether.  No facts, no time line, just me and the page.  And it worked.  Mostly.

The purpose of NaNoWriMo is to write fast and not worry about quality.  To move onto chapter 2 quickly and not worry if chapter 1 is any good.  First draft manure.  Just keep writing.  So I did.  I started off great.  I was excited to get started and the first week flew by as I kept up with my daily goals.

Then week 2 hit.  Hard.  About 20,000 words in, I got mired in the mud.  The problem is that even ether comes with its own issues.  Unsure how to proceed, I reverted to my habits of getting bogged down in research (herbal medicine, foliage and wildlife of medieval France) and not actually writing.  I pulled out of it by writing the ending of the story which had revealed itself to me from the beginning and ignored how we were going to reach it.

Somewhere in week 3, one of my characters got mad at me.  He looked into the future and realized his time left on the page was quickly drawing to a close.  He got dressed up and tried to bargain with me, to let him live.  I had to tell him that the plan was always that he would die.  The story doesn’t work if he doesn’t die.  If he doesn’t die, she can’t change.

So, he’s pouted.  He refused to come out to play.  “If I don’t make it into the scene, you can’t kill me, so I’m going to refuse to have my voice used.”

“Fine,” I responded.  In retaliation, I had his soon-to-be wife flirt with his biggest enemy.  Whoa.  I did not see that coming.  But she did, she flirted with him.  Now what do I do with that?

I must tell you, I had such fun with this process. I pushed myself beyond what I thought I could do and it was exhilarating.  This is a story that has told itself to me from the moment of its inception.  I was sitting in a writing workshop, and we were talking about unicorns (you know, like you do).  Suddenly, these two characters whispered to me, told me their names and their story.  Not all of it, not all at once, but certainly the end.

The sense of momentum, of idea tumbling after idea, was joyful.  I could see layers being formed.  By the end of the month, I had a rough first draft completed.  There is much more work to be done, but already layers of revision are becoming clear.

I found great support from the Austin NaNo Facebook group, connecting to other writers who were also slinging words down onto the page.  We encouraged each other and celebrated as each one crossed over the finish line of our own personal marathons.

My winner’s banner for completing the challenge of 50,000 words in 30 days.

I also got good support from my family.  We came up with flying a flag, my equivalent of Jo March’s floppy hat, so that my family would not bother me when I was trying to concentrate.

The problem came later.  I finished NaNo on November 23rd, an entire week before the deadline.  While this made Thanksgiving smoother, I have already lost my momentum and can feel the writing drifting into the background of my life.

Don’t go!  Please come back.  I want to sit with ideas and language and these incredible people I have met.  I want to get lost in the plot twists and be surprised by their actions.  More and more ideas are coming to me and I’m losing them as fast as they come.

Through this process, I learned that I am motivated by deadlines, even imaginary ones.  The world was not going to stop turning if I did not make 50,000 words by Nov 30th, but my little corner of it might.  I need external pressure of some kind, and I need community.

We are a week into December, and the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is upon us.  What I wish for this Christmas is time to sit with story and words and imagination.  I want to finish out 2016 strong and start 2017 with a burst of creative energy that will carry me through the year.

May we all get what we’re wishing for this holiday season. Write on…..

 

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Elections and lunches.

Elections and lunches?  What do they have in common?

Yesterday was a sobering day in our country.  Many of us woke up to news that shocked and dismayed us.  Emotions swayed from disbelief to fear to sadness.  My daughter asked me if we could move.  She wasn’t kidding.

I did what I always do.  I woke the kids up, made breakfast, packed their lunches, drove my son to the pool while it was still dark, and drove my daughter to school.  Then, because it was Wednesday, I went to Bible study*.

It was the best possible place to be.  The text we were studying was John 6:1-21.  We studied the miraculous feeding of the 5000 and Jesus’ walking on water during a storm.  We saw Jesus’ compassion for those who follow him, his provision for those in need, and his ability to calm the wind and waves if we can trust him through our fear.  Perhaps more importantly, we talked about the storms in our own lives.

Friends, nothing will give you perspective faster than a group of women talking about the journeys of their lives.  As I sat listening to stories of loss, grief, illness, betrayal, fractured relationships, and the challenges that come with family life, I could not help but feel blessed.  I have had my share of struggles, and I am sure I will face more before my journey is done, but compared to the burdens some of my friends carry, I am blessed.

The other thing I heard yesterday as we shared was God’s amazing faithfulness in bringing these women through these challenging and sometimes horrific circumstances.  Their faith in their Lord shines through, even as some of them still walk in the valley of the shadow of death.  They put their trust and faith in the hands of the powerful creator.  And those hands still hold the world, including this country.  Nothing surprises him and nothing happens without his permission.

The story of the feeding of the 5000 is a familiar one.  I teach it every year to my Sunday School class of preschoolers.  This time, however, God chose to reveal a new insight.  This time, I was struck by a character outside the narrative.  There is someone in this story who we never see, hear, or even have a reference to.  But I believe she exists nonetheless.  The little boy who provided the five small barley loaves and the two small fish had a mother who packed his lunch for him.

Somewhere there was a woman who looked at her meager supplies and set aside what she could to give her boy.  Someone’s hands crafted those small loaves, maybe prayed over them as she shaped and baked them.  Who knows, maybe she included the first-century equivalent of a post-it note as she wrapped up the loaves and the fish.  Somewhere there was a woman who loved her son and packed him a lunch.

Are you that woman?  I know I am.  Every day I pack two lunches from our sometimes meager resources.  Some days I pray as I make the sandwiches.  Occasionally I include a note.  More often than not, I get complaints about what I pack, as I try to sneak in some nutrition.  But every day, I pack lunches.  It’s what a mom does.

Jesus used that boy’s small lunch, lovingly packed by his mother, to feed 5000+ people.  There were twelve baskets of left-overs after everyone had eaten their fill.  Out of one boy’s small lunch, God provided abundantly for his people.  It’s what God does.

Which brings me back to the election.  I think what we do is to keep on doing what we’ve been doing.  We pack lunches, we care for our families, we try to make a difference in the lives of those around us.  We look for small kindnesses and we do them.  We bring our small lunch to Jesus, trusting that he can use what we bring to provide abundantly for his people.

We trust God to carry us through the storms of this life.  When the seas get rough, and they will, whether it’s your own individual puddle or the ocean of an entire nation, we bring our lunch and we look to our Lord to provide.

Yesterday God provided me with perspective.  It was what I needed to get me through the storm.  Today, he will provide me with something else.  I keep on trusting him.  It’s what I do.  Will you join me?

 

 

*I attend Bible Study Fellowship, an in-depth focused Bible study which appeals to my academic mind.  If you would like more info, or want to join me, please ask!

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Summer of Psalms, week 5

Today, something a little different:

This morning I awoke to news of yet another shooting, this time against law enforcement officers in my own state.  My heart was/is so heavy and filled with sadness and fear and questions.  I turned to God and asked why?  and how?  and when?  When will you put an 20160708_075118end to this hatred and animosity?  Lord, I believe you love all people.  Why do you continue to allow this hatred and mistrust?  And this was my answer:

An old journal that I bought several years ago on a beach vacation and filled with prayers and scriptures.  I opened it and read:

 

 

 

Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

 

Matthew 11:28-30

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Micah 5:4

He will stand and shepherd his flock
    in the strength of the Lord,
    in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God.
And they will live securely, for then his greatness
    will reach to the ends of the earth.

 

Psalm 37, selected verses

1Do not fret because of those who are evil
    or be envious of those who do wrong;
for like the grass they will soon wither,
    like green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
    when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
    do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
    but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
    though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land
    and enjoy peace and prosperity

27 Turn from evil and do good;
    then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the Lord loves the just
    and will not forsake his faithful ones.

Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed;
    the offspring of the wicked will perish.
29 The righteous will inherit the land
    and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
    and their tongues speak what is just.
31 The law of their God is in their hearts;
    their feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
    intent on putting them to death;
33 but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked
    or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Hope in the Lord
    and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
    when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord;
    he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
40 The Lord helps them and delivers them;
    he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
    because they take refuge in him.

Lord, we are weary.  I am weary.  Weary of the hate and the violence, weary of the senselessness of it all.  I want you to come back and fix it.  Lord, I hope and trust in you.  These days, my only hope is in you.  Your ways are not my ways and your timing is not my timing.  I can only pray and trust.

While we wait, let us pray for the fallen and the innocent.  Let us look for the good in our lives, hug our loved ones a little closer and linger in their embrace.  Do not give up on this world, despite its flaws and hardness.  Look for ways to show love to others, for we are all made in His image.

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Summer of Psalms, week 4

Psalm 20

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
    may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary
    and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices
    and accept your burnt offerings.
May he give you the desire of your heart
    and make all your plans succeed.
May we shout for joy over your victory
    and lift up our banners in the name of our God.

May the Lord grant all your requests.

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Summer of Psalms, week 3

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Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked advance against me
    to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.

One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.

13 I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.

Fear. Strife. Bad news.  It seems like that’s all we’re surrounded by.  Between the news media and social media, there is anger and fear everywhere we turn.  We cannot get away.  Unless, we enter His house, the House of the Lord.  There, and only there it seems, we will find peace, protection and perspective.

I love this Psalm.  From its very beginning, this light-loving and often fearful girl basks in a sense of calm and peace.  When the armies advance, and they do advance, we seek the shelter of His House and gaze at the beauty of His Face.

I love the confidence of the psalmist, David, who exalts and worships.  Faced with advancing armies, surrounding enemies, foes who bears false witness, and even the rejection of his mother and father, David recognizes the stronghold that God is.  He reminds himself over and over again that the Lord is his protector and his salvation.

The Psalm ends on a hopeful note.  The bad news will not win.  Wait for the Lord to work.  You will see the goodness of the Lord.  Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

And in the meantime, in the words of the beautiful hymn, by Helen Howarth Lemmel:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,                                                                            In the light of His glory and grace.

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